How do i identify as a sexual being
There are many ways to classify what and/or who you enjoy sexually. Realizing where your needs, desires and boundaries fit in this vast variety of sexual interest can help you become more secure, confidant and accepting of yourself and your sexuality. It also helps a great deal for you to express your needs, desires and boundaries to your partner or to me during a sessions. Maybe you have just been curious or fantasized about certain things and want to under them and your desire for them more deeply. Maybe you wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of people and relationships. Knowledge is always one of the most powerful things we can posses, especially when it comes to ourselves. How can we expect anyone to know us if we don't truly know ourselves or are completely honest with ourselves.
Unfortunately different people have different descriptions or opinions and even levels to these classification. There is also judgement and shame projected onto natural human desires. So many women are afraid or ashamed to embrace their desires. But the truth is if it brings you pleasure then it has only positive reactions in your mind, body, energy and spirit. God doesn't make mistakes and if you are a dominate female who loves to have her feet, ass, and pussy worshipped by multi men and women then it has to be not only ok, but a good thing for everyone involved. For every sexual desire, kink, fetish even taboo there is someone else that enjoys the same or counter part to your desire. There are people who are naturally dominate and others who are naturally submissive. Both play a role for themselves and for the other.
I am going to list my definition of some sexual orientations, kinks and fetishes. Please keep in mind each of these can go from very mild to very extreme within each classification. You will probably also notice you don't fit just one. Many one day you feel one way and another day you feel differently. Maybe you feel different with different partners. Maybe you are a combination of a few or several sometimes or most of the time. What I want you to realize is you are not alone in these feelings and there is nothing wrong with them or to be embarrassed or ashamed of. God doesn't make mistakes and there is nothing wrong with you.
Unfortunately different people have different descriptions or opinions and even levels to these classification. There is also judgement and shame projected onto natural human desires. So many women are afraid or ashamed to embrace their desires. But the truth is if it brings you pleasure then it has only positive reactions in your mind, body, energy and spirit. God doesn't make mistakes and if you are a dominate female who loves to have her feet, ass, and pussy worshipped by multi men and women then it has to be not only ok, but a good thing for everyone involved. For every sexual desire, kink, fetish even taboo there is someone else that enjoys the same or counter part to your desire. There are people who are naturally dominate and others who are naturally submissive. Both play a role for themselves and for the other.
I am going to list my definition of some sexual orientations, kinks and fetishes. Please keep in mind each of these can go from very mild to very extreme within each classification. You will probably also notice you don't fit just one. Many one day you feel one way and another day you feel differently. Maybe you feel different with different partners. Maybe you are a combination of a few or several sometimes or most of the time. What I want you to realize is you are not alone in these feelings and there is nothing wrong with them or to be embarrassed or ashamed of. God doesn't make mistakes and there is nothing wrong with you.
Sexual Orientations
Straight: You are only attracted to opposite gender (sex) as yourself.
Bi-Curious: You are attracted to the opposite sex, but you maybe attracted to some people of the same sex or turned on by the thought of being sensual or sexual with someone of the same sex. You are curious to experience sex with someone of the same sex but not sure if you are bi-sexual until you experience it.
Bi-Sensual: You enjoy sensual touch with people of the same sex but not sex. Example a woman may enjoy touching and kissing another woman but does not want to have oral or any other kind of sex.
Bi-Sexual: Enjoys sex and maybe relationships with male or females. You can be bisexual but only interested in sex with both genders or could also romantically date either gender.
Gay: Only enjoys relationships and sex with same sex partners.
Pan Sexual: Enjoys or open to dating and sex with males, females, bisexuals, gay, gender fluid, transgender or any other sexual orientation.
Monogamous: Someone who is in a relationship or only has sex with one person at a time.
Poly-Sensual: Someone who is in a relationship or has sex with only one person but maybe be sensual (like kissing, being nude, feeling another persons body, having their body touched, maybe even giving or receiving oral) with someone other than their partner. This is also referred to as soft swinging. It is more common with women who enjoy kissing and feeling another woman's body.
Poly-Sexual: Someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. They could be single or in a relationship. The connection with their sexual partners is mostly sexual but could extend to friendship, but they generally have only one romantic/emotionally connected relationship with one person at a time. Swingers would be an example of poly-sexual.
Polyamorist: Someone who has romantic/emotionally connected relationships with more than one person. They are generally married to one person but have one or more boyfriends/girlfriends. They could date their partners separately from their spouse or with their spouse. Polyamorist does not always have to include sex. Generally it is more about an emotional connection. Polyamorist people generally feel you can love and be "in love" with more than one person no matter if the relationship is sexual or not.
Dominate: You like to be in control and/or get aroused by controlling, making decisions for and dominating someone else. You still treat the person being controlled with respect, love and affection This can be a natural personality trait or someone who feels they don't have much control in their everyday life this can be an escape and release for them. The shadow/unbalanced side is someone who is abusive either physically, mentally or emotionally.
Submissive: You enjoy being of service and making others happy by doing for them and serving them. This can be everyday life and/or sexual. Some people only enjoy being submissive sexually and not in everyday life. Some people have to be very alpha or dominate in their work or public life. So it can be an escape and release for them to give up that power and control and let someone else have it. It is very freeing for them to not have to make decisions or have the responsibility of someone's well being, safety or life in their hands.
The shadow side is someone who feels they are not worthy and less important than their partner. They use serving others as a way to try to feel better about themselves and gain praise through following orders and pleasing their partner or others.
Switch: Someone who enjoys sometimes being dominate and sometimes being submissive depending on their mood or partner.
Top: A Top is someone who wants to be in control but only during sex. They want to be the one on top and doing. They don't want to control someone outside of the bedroom. This is often referred to same gender sex or mtf (male to female) transgender with male female or other transgender. The top is the one penetrating the other person.
Bottom: A bottom just wants to be taken and be the one receiving during sex but they are not submissive outside of the bedroom or necessarily want to be told what to do as much as just have it done to them. When it's two men a bottom is the one being penetrated.
Slut/Goddess: This can be complicated because there are so many negative thoughts and religious stigmas about a person being referred to as a slut. I will give you my definition and in general how Tantra views being a Slut/Goddess. A Slut/Goddess is a person who is open, confidant and secure with their sensuality and sexuality. They know they are a sensual and sexual being and they embrace it. They know what they like and don't like and they are not embarrassed or ashamed of it. They truly enjoy being pleasured as well as pleasuring someone else. There can be different kinds of sluts or sluts that have certain boundaries. You can be a monogamous slut. It just means you fit the description above but you prefer to have only one partner at a time. A slut could also be a person who enjoy having multiple partners. That could be a limited number of partners who they have some kind of connection, or they can enjoy sex just for the pleasures of sex and the people they are with do not matter to them as much as the sex itself. Being a slut isn't about how much sex you have or how many partners you have. Being a slut is about owning and being proud of the sensual and sexual being you are and honoring your body and the pleasures it is capable of giving and receiving. In Tantra we call a slut the Goddess. It can be a more positive way to describe a slut but there are many who enjoy the label of slut. To them if makes them feel naught, kinky, like what they are doing is taboo which arouses them. No matter what kind of slut you are honor the Goddess or dirty naughty Slut you are!
The shadow side of a slut is someone who was is not secure with who they are and uses sex as a way to receive attention and mistakes sex for love.
BDSM: BDSM refers to Bondage/Discipline, Domination/Submission, or Sadism/Masochism. You do not have to be involved or identify with all of those categories. You could just enjoy some bondage or even extreme bondage. You could be in or desire a dominate and submissive relationship that does not include bondage, discipline, sadism or masochism.
Slave: A slave is an extreme relationship in the BDSM lifestyle. A slave desires to give up all control of their life to someone else. They enjoy serving and are relieved to not have to make decisions on their own but to be instructed in everything they do. Sometime this can truly be everything like what they wear or eat everyday, when they sleep, when they are allowed to go to the bathroom, when and how they have sex, everything in their life is controlled and on a schedule. To this person it is comforting, gives them direction and purpose. There can be different kinds of slaves. A domestic slave's focus is more on house hold and domestic duties than sex and not even involve sex. A sex slave enjoys being taken and used sexually. Being a sexual object or sex toy for their Master arouses and pleases them. They may live a regular life, work a regular job, make their own decisions with everyday life stuff and have the regular, little or no domestic duties, but sexually they give up all control. They could be shared even rented out to their Master's friends or anyone he desires. They could be denied sex, made to do or receive only certain kinds of sexual activity. Anything sexual a slave has no control or say. There can be boundaries that are set in a Master/Slave relationship but in general there are few if any. In general a slave is a deep level of a submissive. Where a submissive may have more boundaries and more say in what they do or what happens to them a slave has very little to none depending on the agreement with they Master.
The Shadow side is someone who feels they are not worthy and less important than their partner. They use serving others as a way to try to feel better about themselves and gain praise through following orders and pleasing their partner or others.
Master/Mistress: Someone who enjoys being in completely control and responsible for someone else's life. They control all finances, and make all decisions for their slave.
Sadist:
Masochist:
Sorry, I'm filling all of this in as I have time. I'm sure I have typos and I will go back and correct as I can. If you have questions please feel free to ask me anything. There are no silly questions. The only way to learn is to ask and nothing is taboo.
Bi-Curious: You are attracted to the opposite sex, but you maybe attracted to some people of the same sex or turned on by the thought of being sensual or sexual with someone of the same sex. You are curious to experience sex with someone of the same sex but not sure if you are bi-sexual until you experience it.
Bi-Sensual: You enjoy sensual touch with people of the same sex but not sex. Example a woman may enjoy touching and kissing another woman but does not want to have oral or any other kind of sex.
Bi-Sexual: Enjoys sex and maybe relationships with male or females. You can be bisexual but only interested in sex with both genders or could also romantically date either gender.
Gay: Only enjoys relationships and sex with same sex partners.
Pan Sexual: Enjoys or open to dating and sex with males, females, bisexuals, gay, gender fluid, transgender or any other sexual orientation.
Monogamous: Someone who is in a relationship or only has sex with one person at a time.
Poly-Sensual: Someone who is in a relationship or has sex with only one person but maybe be sensual (like kissing, being nude, feeling another persons body, having their body touched, maybe even giving or receiving oral) with someone other than their partner. This is also referred to as soft swinging. It is more common with women who enjoy kissing and feeling another woman's body.
Poly-Sexual: Someone who enjoys sex with multiple partners. They could be single or in a relationship. The connection with their sexual partners is mostly sexual but could extend to friendship, but they generally have only one romantic/emotionally connected relationship with one person at a time. Swingers would be an example of poly-sexual.
Polyamorist: Someone who has romantic/emotionally connected relationships with more than one person. They are generally married to one person but have one or more boyfriends/girlfriends. They could date their partners separately from their spouse or with their spouse. Polyamorist does not always have to include sex. Generally it is more about an emotional connection. Polyamorist people generally feel you can love and be "in love" with more than one person no matter if the relationship is sexual or not.
Dominate: You like to be in control and/or get aroused by controlling, making decisions for and dominating someone else. You still treat the person being controlled with respect, love and affection This can be a natural personality trait or someone who feels they don't have much control in their everyday life this can be an escape and release for them. The shadow/unbalanced side is someone who is abusive either physically, mentally or emotionally.
Submissive: You enjoy being of service and making others happy by doing for them and serving them. This can be everyday life and/or sexual. Some people only enjoy being submissive sexually and not in everyday life. Some people have to be very alpha or dominate in their work or public life. So it can be an escape and release for them to give up that power and control and let someone else have it. It is very freeing for them to not have to make decisions or have the responsibility of someone's well being, safety or life in their hands.
The shadow side is someone who feels they are not worthy and less important than their partner. They use serving others as a way to try to feel better about themselves and gain praise through following orders and pleasing their partner or others.
Switch: Someone who enjoys sometimes being dominate and sometimes being submissive depending on their mood or partner.
Top: A Top is someone who wants to be in control but only during sex. They want to be the one on top and doing. They don't want to control someone outside of the bedroom. This is often referred to same gender sex or mtf (male to female) transgender with male female or other transgender. The top is the one penetrating the other person.
Bottom: A bottom just wants to be taken and be the one receiving during sex but they are not submissive outside of the bedroom or necessarily want to be told what to do as much as just have it done to them. When it's two men a bottom is the one being penetrated.
Slut/Goddess: This can be complicated because there are so many negative thoughts and religious stigmas about a person being referred to as a slut. I will give you my definition and in general how Tantra views being a Slut/Goddess. A Slut/Goddess is a person who is open, confidant and secure with their sensuality and sexuality. They know they are a sensual and sexual being and they embrace it. They know what they like and don't like and they are not embarrassed or ashamed of it. They truly enjoy being pleasured as well as pleasuring someone else. There can be different kinds of sluts or sluts that have certain boundaries. You can be a monogamous slut. It just means you fit the description above but you prefer to have only one partner at a time. A slut could also be a person who enjoy having multiple partners. That could be a limited number of partners who they have some kind of connection, or they can enjoy sex just for the pleasures of sex and the people they are with do not matter to them as much as the sex itself. Being a slut isn't about how much sex you have or how many partners you have. Being a slut is about owning and being proud of the sensual and sexual being you are and honoring your body and the pleasures it is capable of giving and receiving. In Tantra we call a slut the Goddess. It can be a more positive way to describe a slut but there are many who enjoy the label of slut. To them if makes them feel naught, kinky, like what they are doing is taboo which arouses them. No matter what kind of slut you are honor the Goddess or dirty naughty Slut you are!
The shadow side of a slut is someone who was is not secure with who they are and uses sex as a way to receive attention and mistakes sex for love.
BDSM: BDSM refers to Bondage/Discipline, Domination/Submission, or Sadism/Masochism. You do not have to be involved or identify with all of those categories. You could just enjoy some bondage or even extreme bondage. You could be in or desire a dominate and submissive relationship that does not include bondage, discipline, sadism or masochism.
Slave: A slave is an extreme relationship in the BDSM lifestyle. A slave desires to give up all control of their life to someone else. They enjoy serving and are relieved to not have to make decisions on their own but to be instructed in everything they do. Sometime this can truly be everything like what they wear or eat everyday, when they sleep, when they are allowed to go to the bathroom, when and how they have sex, everything in their life is controlled and on a schedule. To this person it is comforting, gives them direction and purpose. There can be different kinds of slaves. A domestic slave's focus is more on house hold and domestic duties than sex and not even involve sex. A sex slave enjoys being taken and used sexually. Being a sexual object or sex toy for their Master arouses and pleases them. They may live a regular life, work a regular job, make their own decisions with everyday life stuff and have the regular, little or no domestic duties, but sexually they give up all control. They could be shared even rented out to their Master's friends or anyone he desires. They could be denied sex, made to do or receive only certain kinds of sexual activity. Anything sexual a slave has no control or say. There can be boundaries that are set in a Master/Slave relationship but in general there are few if any. In general a slave is a deep level of a submissive. Where a submissive may have more boundaries and more say in what they do or what happens to them a slave has very little to none depending on the agreement with they Master.
The Shadow side is someone who feels they are not worthy and less important than their partner. They use serving others as a way to try to feel better about themselves and gain praise through following orders and pleasing their partner or others.
Master/Mistress: Someone who enjoys being in completely control and responsible for someone else's life. They control all finances, and make all decisions for their slave.
Sadist:
Masochist:
Sorry, I'm filling all of this in as I have time. I'm sure I have typos and I will go back and correct as I can. If you have questions please feel free to ask me anything. There are no silly questions. The only way to learn is to ask and nothing is taboo.